I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
