Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
