Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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