Don't you send me to vm
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
