we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We don't watch enough power rangers
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
