Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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