im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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