Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
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How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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