He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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