MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize