Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
