whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize