Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
