this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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