somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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