She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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