Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
