This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
