Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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