i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
