don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
