Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
