bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
