She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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