I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize