My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize