you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
