You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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