Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
