I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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