i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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