Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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