I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
