oh god the rape fog is back!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
