Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize