would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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