This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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