a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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