: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
