It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
