I wish I only lived at night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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