My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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