did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
