The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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