do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize