We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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