My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize