If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize