butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Couch. On fire.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
