??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
