I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Randomize
