just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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