is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
