i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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