As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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