so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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