Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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