i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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