Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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