I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I died a long time ago.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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