Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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