Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
