My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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