lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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