Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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