we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
