This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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