I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
