I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
