just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
